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I was reading a couple blogs this morning. One in particular had a link to the national sex offender registry. They have a search feature that allows you to see the sex offenders in your area, all nicely color coded by offense. Apparently I live on Molester Hill as every single square in my area was red. There were 20 squares total, not particularly startling, simply strange that they were all for child molestation. What, is this area not good enough for rapists and wife beaters?

All of this made me curious about what things were actually considered offenses, so I moved on to California sex offender registry…

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…hilarity ensued.

Police say Running With Scissors PC game inspired three teens to set fire to eight cars and one home over three weeks. Read Article

BREAKING NEWS:

A teenager tumbled chickens in a box before dissecting them into hundreds of evenly cut pieces. Specialists say Loco Roco is to blame.

THIS JUST IN, REPORTING LIVE ON THE SCENE:

A 27 year old man went on a rampage earlier today, killing dogs, birds and even small children with a lead pipe. Witnesses say the man was chasing a young girl and calling out to her as she ran away. The girl says she doesn’t know the man and her name is not Cheryl.

NEW DEVELOPMENTS ON TEEN SUICIDE CASE:

Teen deaths caught on film. Teens everywhere are throwing themselves down flights of stairs and it’s all due to a popular downloadable game entitled, “Stair Dismount”.

IN OTHER NEWS:

Youths swarm to sign up with military after release of Call of Duty 4. “War is cool!” says teen.

Yeah, that’s likely.

Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go shoot myself in the head

I’m sure you’ve all heard about the 2 week XBOX LIVE / Windows LIVE downtime. How it wouldn’t frequently become unavailable, not allowing people to connect and play their games. Yeah, that.

I signed up with Windows LIVE during this outage.

After several hours I was ready to uninstall Gears of War and bring it back as I couldn’t play the game every time I tried. It would never sign in, which meant it wouldn’t save my progress in the game. Great! Even once I finally got LIVE to sign in so I could play the game, it remained a pest.

Now that I’ve used it enough, I can see that LIVE is really just in-game IM chat. It has a message center, chat and your gamer stats profile. Woo Woo. It doesn’t even do anything cool like STEAM, such as allowing you to access your account and play your games from any PC…it’s not that kind of software…

…but here’s what it IS:

1. It’s an in-game chat program that prevents me from playing the game if it can’t sign in. Great.

2. It’s an in-game chat program that prevents me from playing online with my friends unless I pay a monthly subscription for a GOLD account. Fantastic.

3. It’s an in-game chat program that suffers from Consolitis, donning the XBOX gamepad buttons rather than a proper PC interface that utilizes the PC keyboard keys. The “Y” key creates a new message and “X” key will log me out of the LIVE service. That makes perfect sense on a PC…

As you can see, I’m using LIVE and dislike it greatly. I’m glad I only need to use it long enough to beat ACT 5 of Gears, then I can uninstall it and delete my account.

There’s a guy who calls me every now and then, whenever he needs some computer advice. There are times that I’m not around to answer the phone, so his calls are directed to my voicemail. This person always leaves me a voicemail, so I know that they’ve called…the problem is that they doesn’t say anything. What I get is a message with thirty to forty seconds of silence. Who does that? It’s as if they dial the phone, throw it on the ground and dive behind their desk like the phone is a grenade with the pin out.

That’s far too ridiculous though. A more probable scenario is that they were ambushed by ninjas, mid-spreadsheet. Ninjas with unpierceable skin, impervious to miniature cacti and other desktop embellishments. Not even a powerful strike from an unlocked Swingline stapler can stop a determined office ninja. But alas, there is still one more resolve…

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